The Other Engine Driver

On a warm summer's evening, Ed Speed was pulling his engine into the terminus. It had been a normal day's work for him, and that was how he liked it. No drama, no fuss, just getting on with the job, enjoying the whistle, the steam, the clattering of the wheels, as he rushed through the countryside. It's not a job everyone can do, he would think proudly. But though he loved his work, he was also happy to be going home to see his wife Mary and their four children.

Ed applied the brakes as he drew up alongside the platform, and then watched all the passengers clamber out of the coaches. He heard the guard shout out a reminder that the train was terminating, and after being uncoupled, he drove to the engine shed some 200 yards away. Feeling exhausted, he decided, as he always did, to have a nice cup of tea at the station before heading for home. Whistling to himself as he walked, he had just reached the door of the staff room when another man emerged. This was Harry Lawson: while Ed was tall and slim, with thick black hair, brown eyes and a moustache, Harry was shorter and bulkier, almost bald, with twinkling blue eyes and a bushy beard.

"Back out to work, are you?", inquired Ed.

"Yes", grinned Harry, "Never seems to stop."

"You poor thing", said Ed, in a rather less than convincing attempt at sympathy. "How lucky I am eh, to be going home. You must be missing your rabbits."

Harry laughed. "It's the last train though, thank God. Maybe it'll be your turn tomorrow night", he said playfully, before winking at Ed and making his way towards his engine.

"As if!", Ed called after him: Ed of course knew perfectly well that he might be called upon to drive the last train the following evening, but he always liked to have the last word.

The staff room was large but sparse: all it contained were a number of chairs, a sink, and a table with a number of teacups on it: there was also a cloakroom next to it, accessed through a small doorway near the table. Ed made himself a nice strong cup of tea, took a soothing sip, and sat back in his chair. He was pleased not to have to drive the last train, and could look forward to some quality time with Mary that evening. Maybe even the children would still be awake when he got back.

After about 20 minutes, when Ed was down to the dregs of his cup, the staff room door swung open purposefully and he saw four men walking in. One of them he recognised instantly: of medium height and build, with spiky brown hair and focused brown eyes, it was Albert Robson, the stationmaster. Normally Albert would have been the one striding at the front of the procession, but on this occasion, to Ed's bafflement and bemusement, he was having to keep up with the other three men, stomping their way towards Ed's chair with angry looks on their faces. At their head was large, fat old man with a grey beard that almost reached down to his chest, and dull grey eyes. He was wearing a dark blue uniform and cap, and holding a set of large rusty keys that looked like they had been in use for about 50 years: he must be a gaoler, Ed thought. He was flanked by two other, considerably younger men: judging by their uniforms, they were obviously policemen. Both were tall, one of them with a pudgy face staring straight ahead, the other with a long face, darting his head around the place in what Ed considered a rather paranoid manner. Ed felt put out: he could not remember doing anything wrong, so what did these men want with him?

"Edward", announced Albert somewhat nervously as well as unnecessarily, "these men want to see you."

"I'm James Locke, the local gaoler, known to my friends as Jim", growled the man with the keys.

"I'm Sergeant Tim Crates", said the pudgy policeman.

"And I'm Police Constable John Bullough", quickly added his colleague.

"And what brings you here?", inquired Ed, doing his best to remain polite.

"We want to catch a toad", said Locke.

"Then why have come here?", Ed asked. "All you have to do is go down to the river with a jam jar."

"Don't be impertinent, Edward", snapped Albert: the three uninvited guests looked furious.

"Perhaps I should have been clearer", said Locke. "What I meant was, we want to catch a toad who was in my prison, but now he's gone."

"Why do you want him back, then?", wondered Ed. "If he was in my house, I'd have got the pest controller in."

"Don't be an idiot", said Crates in a warning tone. "He was sentenced to prison for stealing a motor car . . ."

"Come off it", laughed Ed, "A toad driving a car? Me and me missus could do with him, she wants a car but we can't . . ."

"It's not funny, Edward", said Albert. "Listen to what these men are saying and show them some respect."

"It's definitely true, we arrested him", said Bullough breathlessly, jerking his head in Crates's direction. "He was also driving dangerously, and the cheek he gave us as well . . ."

"What did he say?", asked Ed. " 'Croak! Croak! Croak!' ".

"I'm warning you now, Edward", said Albert, his voice rising ominously. "If you want to keep your job . . ."

"He said lots of things I would rather not repeat", said Crates in a dignified tone. "So, anyhow, John and I arrested him, he got 20 years in prison, with Mr. Locke here as his gaoler."

"Whatever next?", exclaimed Ed. "I suppose you'll be telling me this toad of yours lives in a fine mansion by the river."

"He does", said Locke: Ed was about to burst into an incontrollable bout of laughter, but stopped when he caught Albert's eye.

"But then", continued Locke, his voice becoming increasingly creaky, "that stupid daughter of mine got all soft on him. Utterly sentimental about animals, she is, she'd probably let all us humans die if only to save one animal. He wouldn't eat, until she coaxed him, then she could hardly keep away from his cell."

"She sounds like Harry", remarked Ed sardonically.

"Anyway", continued Locke, his voice creakier still, "this evening, I was doing my rounds, checking all the cells, when I popped my head into Toad's cell and what did I see?"

"Crawling on the walls was he?", asked Ed.

"No, you fool", snapped Locke: Albert looked positively murderous. "I saw my sister, bound and gagged on the floor. She's the prison washerwoman, you see. I asked her what had gone wrong, and she told me that Toad had kidnapped her and run off in her clothes, but I was suspicious so I searched her pockets and found some gold sovereigns on her. She confessed that my daughter had come up with this scheme that Toad would escape disguised as her. Needless to say", he concluded grimly, "neither of them is in my employment any more: they'll have to try the workhouse. As they deserve," he added.

"You mean to say", said Ed, "that there is a toad wandering about this town in washerwoman's clothes?"

"Not wandering about town, he's on the train", said Crates. "Jim came to me and John, we spoke to witnesses - luckily Jim's sister is well known in town, so we were able to trace the toad's movements to this station, and we know he's riding on the footplate of the engine just gone."

"You mean, Harry's engine?", asked Ed.

"Yes", said Albert.

"And", said Bullough excitedly, "we want you to get your engine out and go after him."

"And you expect me to believe that cock and bull story?", exclaimed the incredulous Ed. "What about me? I have to get home, see the kids and me missus." He looked pleadingly at Albert. "Surely you don't believe these crackpots?"

"You must do as they want you to, Edward, your wife and children can wait. If a policeman or a gaoler asks you to do something, you must do it, no questions asked."

Ed sighed, rose up from his chair, and wordlessly beckoned his three visitors to follow him. As he led them towards the shed, he heard Locke constantly muttering about the outrageous treachery of his daughter and sister, and the two police officers trying to interest him in the story of how they had arrested the toad. Ed was not the slightest bit interested: with every step his anger at Albert and the other three men increased.

Eventually, they reached Ed's engine: all four mounted the footplate. Ed set about exhaustively cleaning and lubricating the engine, then lighting the fire, and allowing the heat to rise sufficiently high to generate steam. All of this took a long time, and Ed's irritation with his passengers only increased as they constantly complained: God Almighty, did any of these blithering idiots know how to work a steam locomotive? Of course they didn't!

When finally, Ed was ready, he had to drive forward, in the opposite direction to the one desired, to reach the turntable behind the shed, causing yet more complaints. Ed had to stop himself from snapping that if they didn't like it, they could simply get off his engine and let him get back home. But once they were away, Ed could not help feeling tremendously proud as the engine sped along the rails. With no coaches behind him, he was able to reach speeds he had only dreamed about before. Ed soon found himself enjoying the ride very much, and almost forgot why he was doing it.

After about half an hour, Ed could see they were in sight of what he knew to be Harry's train. Instantly the other three men staring shouting out "Stop! Stop! Stop!": Ed's annoyance returned as he briefly wondered why they were shouting at him, and why they wanted him to stop now, but then remembered that they were calling out to Harry. Locke was bawling out the words at the top of his hoarse voice, while the two policemen were jumping up and down with excitement as they called out: all three were making a disgraceful show of themselves, Ed thought.

The pursuit continued for about an hour, with Ed slowly gaining on Harry. He wondered what Harry would say when they caught up with him, and heard the three men's bizarre story. They entered a long tunnel, and Ed slowed down slightly.

"What are you doing?", demanded Locke.

Up to this point, Ed had maintained his silence, but now he finally snapped.

"Look, do you want to cause an accident?", he demanded: Locke looked rather abashed, and Ed felt quite pleased at having shown his unwanted guests how he knew more about railways than they did.

They emerged from the tunnel, next to a wood, and continued the pursuit: Harry seemed to have put on a bit of speed, Ed thought, and, let's face it, he can hardly be blamed for not wanting to be caught by three nutcases. Eventually, however, Ed's greater speed told, and he pulled up just behind Harry's train, whistling to alert Harry. Harry brought his engine to a halt, and stepped off the footplate, walking back towards Ed and the others.

"What's up?", he asked, grinning.

Before Ed could splutter his reply, Locke spoke.

"You've a runaway toad on your engine, we know you've got him, and we want you to hand him over."

Somehow, Ed thought, the story now seemed even more ridiculous.

"What?", replied Harry, evidently fighting to stop himself from laughing. "You've dragged poor Ed along with you, just for a toad? Not what you expecting eh, Ed?"

"It's not funny", said Crates sharply. "Don't try and be clever with us, driver, we know he's on your footplate."

"There's no toad on my footplate", said Harry, in a more serious tone this time. "I can show you if you want."

The three guests seemed rather startled: they had obviously not expected such an offer. Eyeing Harry somewhat suspiciously, they let him lead them to his engine, Ed walking slightly behind them. Harry turned round and winked at Ed, but Ed wasn't in the mood at all. He could also hear the muttering of Harry's passengers, wondering what on Earth was going on.

Sure enough, Locke, Crates and Bullough searched Harry's engine fully, and there was no toad. Having quickly determined he was not on the footplate, they next went clambering around in the tender evidently thinking the toad might be hiding in the coal, much to Harry's amusement: Ed, however, felt only mounting annoyance. Locke even asked if the toad might be hiding in the boiler, until Harry laughingly reminded him that the creature would likely be dead if he had done that. Finally, they searched the coaches, checking in the aisles, under the seats and in the luggage racks, even demanding that the passengers open up their cases and bags in case the toad might be hiding in there. The passengers were agitated and distressed by the whole situation: Ed's anger increased, and Harry stopped laughing and assumed a more serious expression.

Having searched the length and breadth of the train, the three were finally forced to admit defeat.

"Now, sirs", said Harry earnestly, "Now that you've caused such worry for my passengers, and all for nothing . . .

"And sent me on a wild goose chase", shouted Ed, unable to contain his anger any longer, "I should have been home with me missus, sitting by the fire with a nice cup of tea, and you come along with your stupid story about this toad, and look, where is he? Nowhere!"

"I'm telling you there was a toad on this train", insisted Locke. "He must have got off somewhere. And", he added ominously, glaring at Harry, "if I get proof that he was on your train, I'll have you in one of my dungeons in no time. Maybe you and Toad can share a cell."

And he stormed off the train, hurriedly followed by the two policemen.

Ed looked at Harry, who, trying not to smile, said nothing and made his way back to his footplate. Ed just about managed to say goodbye to his friend, before he stormed back to his own engine. He had to drive a long way to reach the terminus, before he could turn his engine round and get back to the station, and finally heading for home.

It was dark by the time he finally reached his own house. A slight, dark-haired woman was sitting by the fire, which was the only source of light. Ed tried to smile at Mary, but she did not return the gesture.

"I've been worried sick about you!", she told him: it seemed she had bursting to say this. "You could have been dead for all I knew! The children have been asking about you as well, so much that I had to work hard to put them to bed! Working late again! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wasn't meant to work late", Ed sighed, and he told her everything that had happened that night.

"And you really expect me to believe that?", she asked.

"Honestly, that's what happened", said Ed desperately: even after everything else, for Mary not to believe him felt like a punch in the stomach.

"Why did you believe them, then?", she demanded. "I always thought you were a sensible man."

"Because Albert told me I had to, even said I might lose my job if I didn't go along with them."

Mary stood up.

"I'm very disappointed in you, Ed", she said. "I always thought you cared about me and the children, and now you stay out late and come up with some strange excuse for it."

And she strode off, presumably to the bedroom. Ed sat down by the fire, in the chair she had vacated, feeling at a complete loss.

A few weeks later, Ed had just come into the staff room again, when he saw Harry proudly wearing a shiny black coat with silver buttons. He eyed it curiously and suspiciously.

"Where d'you get that from?", he asked.

"Oh, it's just a present", said Harry, trying to make it sound as though this was of no importance.

"Who from?", asked Ed.

"Oh, it doesn't really matter", said Harry, evidently making an effort to sound casual. "From a friend, that's all."

Ed looked at Harry for a moment: it was very unusual for his friend to be as evasive as this.

"Anyway", said Harry rather abruptly, "I must be off now", and he placed the coat in the cloakroom.

Once Harry had gone, Ed discreetly made his way into the cloakroom. He picked the coat from off its hook and examined it: he saw a note attached to the collar. The note read:

"Dear Mr. Engine Driver. Thank you for helping me escape those men. You were very kind to me. Yours in gratitude, Mr. Toad."